The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Genesis 3:12-13 (KJV)

Blaming someone else for our actions is as good as admitting that we have no control over our words, ideas, or feelings. We'll lose our impartiality and capacity to see the underlying problems in our connection. Adam did just this: he blamed Eve and God for giving her to him in the first place, and Eve, in turn, blamed the serpent.

While blaming may allow us to avoid taking personal responsibility for changing the way we think and act, as well as properly admitting and making amends for our mistakes, it actually hinders our ability to grow and form good relationships. We will get stuck in a never-ending loop of hurt, rage, and disappointment.

When you use someone else's behaviour to excuse your reactions, you're effectively handing over all of your authority to them. It makes you bitter rather than better. When you're engulfed in your own insecurities and a false sense of entitlement, nothing gets resolved.

When Jesus died on the cross for everyone, he never blamed anyone. Though His death was unwarranted, it did put an end to our enmity with God and enmity with others. We have no reason to hold people accountable for their wrongdoing if God no longer holds us accountable for our sins. This allows us to start the process of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Consider these words of the Apostle Paul:

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13 (NKJV)

Forgiveness is a gift of freedom we offer regardless of whether the person deserves it or not. We don't wait for someone to feel guilty or remorseful before we forgive them. Instead, forgiveness relieves the anguish of blame and removes the justification for remaining a victim.

The ability to forgive others stems from a revelation and realisation of how much God has forgiven us. Despite the fact that God was the one who had been wronged, God chose to resolve the sinful tension between us and Him through Christ rather than carrying out His righteous judgement on us. We would have remained shattered individuals if it hadn't been for this extraordinary gift of grace.

We can stop playing the blame game and relieve ourselves from a load of toxic brokenness by taking purposeful steps of faith through resting in Jesus. This opens the door for healing and transformation in ourselves and others.