If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Matthew 18:15-17 (ESV)

Holding on to an offence is the most destructive disease that threatens or destroys the lives of most church communities. Offence can be caused by a variety of situations, ranging from small slights and misunderstandings to major betrayals and injustices. If left unresolved, an offence can bring strife, breaks friendship and breeds distrust and misunderstandings.

Jesus warns us not to harbour a spirit of offence.

Simply said, staying offended is a tormenting spirit given directly from the Enemy. If you don't guard your heart and shield yourself from Satan's deceptions, it won't be long until a spirit of offence destroys you and your relationships. Don't give in to the Enemy's scheme to feed your rage and make you even more angry and resentful.

Don't seek vengeance on anyone. It is preferable to be treated unjustly than to act unjustly. If you have been wronged, let God vindicate you and help you through the experience. But if you have wronged others by your actions and words, go to them and ask for forgiveness so that our friendship can be healed.

Forgiveness is the key to overcoming the spirit of offence. When we forgive others, we are releasing them from the debt they owe us, and we are choosing to let go of our anger and resentment. This can be a difficult process, but it is essential for our own well-being and for the health of our relationships.

We are to go quietly to the individual who has offended us and try to heal the friendship. If the issue is still unresolved after this, we are to seek the help of godly friends to help us figure out the difference. If all other attempts fail, Jesus instructs us to treat the person as “a Gentile and a tax collector”. Now, Jesus is not indicating that we should reject and avoid that person as if they were a social outcast. Rather, Jesus is being hyperbolic here. In other words, we ought to continue loving the person in the same way that Jesus does with Gentiles and tax collectors.