Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.

1 John 4:11 (NLT)

Most of the time, we are more kind to strangers than to our loved ones.

As we learn to live in the reality of God's grace and love, we become more and more gentle with ourselves and others. When we can truly love someone, we should not try to fix or change them. Rather we trust God to do His perfect work in them. Our focus is to never stop loving people—even when they are most trying and difficult.

We often make love an earned thing rather than a completely unconditional way of life. Grace, however, gives us the power and capacity to care for and love others regardless of who they are or what they have done. This is essential. All friendships and relationships will experience challenging times, and if it is not dealt with love and care, we will end up failing each other.

Our differences and disappointments stemmed primarily from the fact that we were unable to fulfil the expectations of those around us. And because we want them to want us, we started changing who we are in order to please them. These friendships are tenuous and prone to failure, so over time this facade makes us miserable and even sick.

There is no such thing as a perfect friend but there can be genuine friends. They will comfort you when you are sad, console you when you are hurt and confront you when you are wrong.

All genuine friendships will truly transform us in a way that fosters growth and makes us stronger. With such friends, we feel more secure and are less likely to put on a front. Not only will we drop the act, but we are also at ease enough with one another to be completely honest and truthful.

This is God's vision for what our community should be.

Once in Christ, we have a new identity in Him, and as a result, through faith in Him, we become who we truly are. We become each other's biggest supporters and cheerleaders when we learn to recognise how Christ is at work in each other's lives. The more we do so, the more genuine and amazing our community life becomes.