And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Hebrews 10:24–25 New International Version

Everyone will sooner or later struggle with being part of and feeling part of their church community. In the context of Hebrews, the pressure of persecutions gave the believers an excuse to stay away from church. Today many would use less excuse than that not to even come to church. We need to ask God to grow us and help us learn what we need to learn in order to stay spiritually healthy and strong.

We must let go of our illusion of expectations that others are supposed to give to us. We must stop reacting against others who have let us down or betrayed our trust and start responding to them with grace and kindness. We must not become bitter and hard and end up hating those we are called to love in Jesus’ Name.

Our fear and insecurities were always there in us, but most times we were not aware of their presence until an ill feeling or misunderstanding exposes them. However, we would rather blame others than face our defects and false innocence. In one sense, we should be thankful for conflicts or intense differences. They tell us where our wounds are and where we want God to heal us.

Our inability to discern our wounds and asking God to heal them often cause us to abandon friendships and relationships too soon and too often. We so-called move on and get over it instead of realising God has something to do with this.

I have no problem with people saying God is leading them to a new season of ministry and fellowship. But sometimes it is a pretence and cover for their unwillingness to sort out and resolve their own inner conflicts. In leaving and going someplace else, they are neither showing compassion and generosity to the people they left and to the people they are about to meet. Worse still, they are not showing compassion to themselves because they are carrying the same hurt baggage wherever they go.

We must stay true to God’s beautiful vision of community and not our own self-righteous versions. God did not put us in a community to inflict us or limit us, but together we are to rest upon His grace and power to see our community healthy and thriving.

Community is love giving and love receiving—and essential to following Christ. It is about learning from each other and lifting each other up and cheering each other on. God never meant for us to grow in isolation from other believers. Spiritual growth and maturity only happen through authentic friendships and meaningful relationships.