Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:32 (NASB)

While forgiveness and reconciliation are inextricably linked, they are not the same thing.

The Apostle Paul instructed the Ephesians to forgive one another as God in Christ had forgiven them. In other words, God established the standard and pattern for you and me to follow. Most of the time, it will be both difficult and impossible for us to forgive or reconcile until we fully encounter and experience the forgiveness and reconciliation that God offers us in Christ. The more you comprehend the magnitude of God's gift of forgiveness and reconciliation to you, the more willing and vulnerable you are to extend the same to others, even if they are undeserving and unappreciative of everything you have to offer.

Forgiveness focuses on the offence and the decision to remove any barriers or stumbling blocks that prevent you from reconciling with the person who has broken or hurt you. It is a personal act to cancel a debt, even if the recipient is unresponsive and does not reciprocate. In other words, forgiveness is a free gift that you give without expecting anything in return.

Reconciliation entails a mutual willingness to put aside what separates you and the other person. It is not a compromise to give up something to ensure peace while not feeling truly settled. Rather, it is confronting the past and refusing to let old grievances get in the way of showing love to one another—just as Christ loves us.

To forgive is to stop licking your own wounds, and to reconcile is to stop hurting others or wishing their harm. Carrying your wounds and wanting to hurt back will not make you feel better but will make you feel even worse. Only God's unfailing love can heal this sickness of the heart.

There are times when the foundation of mutual trust and respect on which the relationship was built cannot be repaired or restored, however, learn from the experience and move forward in faith, trusting God who has all the power to heal the wounds and reconcile all things—in His time and in His way.