So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Romans 12:5, English Standard Version

We are made for community, and yet we all from time-to-time struggle with belonging.

Belonging is not about fitting in. It starts with recognising and listening to the voice who calls us His beloved. It also means following that voice to go where it leads us and never depart from it. Without this first sense of belonging to God, it would be difficult and challenging to extend friendship and community to others. 

True belonging is not based on agreeing on everything or understanding each other's views. While we are uniquely diverse and different, we are also all new creations fitted together in Christ. As such, we don't have to manufacture belonging—but rather we manifest and express the reality of our belonging together in Christ through loving and practical ways. 

When we fall for the fallacy of fitting in—we will end up putting expectations on others that they have to be a specific version of themselves in order to fit in. In doing so, we are in one sense betraying our God-given birthright of belonging and belovedness in Christ. This explains why church communities and friendships can sometimes become so toxic and fake. 

Community is not about us fitting in with others, but to mutually create a healthy space to offer support and show love and to do good together. If it is about fitting in, our friendship remains selfish and self-centred. Sooner or later, we get disappointed and lose faith because our expectations are not set in reality. 

By learning to rest our relationship on the gospel, we become a community that befits our new creation identity in Christ. Here we are practical ministers of grace and reconciliation to each other, giving and receiving hope and healing from each other and respecting and accepting differences in each other. This will give us the courage and strength to overcome any obstacle that threatens to disrupt or harm the fabric of our communal faith and journey.