Let each of us please his neighbour for his good, to build him up.

Romans 15:2 (ESV)

If our attitude towards community is based on what we can gain from it, then most of our relationships with others are transactional, rather than transformative. Transactional relationships arise out of a culture of individualism and self-serving interest. It is looking for relationships that feed your needs and expectations in a selfish manner. As a result, transactional relations are not good relationships and will not last in the long term.

We do not use people for our pleasure or to fill the void we feel.

Transactional relationships are motivated by fear of scarcity and a limited comprehension of God’s infinite love and favour. In Acts, we see Simon Magus who sought to purchase spiritual power from the Apostles. He saw the gospel as a “transactional gospel” of religious consumerism. He wanted to make money from it.

Transformational relationships transcend transactional relationships by demonstrating genuine love for God and people. Transformation relationships have less expectations, more love and respect for each other. We cannot have true transformation unless or until we encounter God. Paul’s experience with Jesus on his way to Damascus transformed him in ways that we cannot even comprehend. He had many more encounters with Jesus that sparked his mission to share the gospel and changed lives for Jesus.

The reality is that all of us experience both transactional and transformative relationships in our church communities. However, as children of God, we must learn to cultivate relationships that are rich, meaningful, and mutually beneficial. Forgiveness and healing, as well as reconciliation, are the greatest gifts we can give and receive from each other. When we are honest with one another, we will be more likely to venture out and try something new. This is the essence of any transformative relationship.